Tag Archives: motherhood

Pregnant With Laughter Part 10

18 May

It’s Wednesday so it’s time for another installment of Pregnant With Laughter! It’s my day to poke fun of this crazy process of growing Baby K and how little I know about raising a child. 

I went home last weekend and got lots of QT time with this cutie:

She’s a blast. I laughed at all her quirky comments and didn’t think I’d stop the giggling when she told of how big her basement was– “It sure is! Why are you laughin’? It sure is!”

She’s cute…but I failed her.

See, she wanted to be a “big girl” and use the potty. After successfully doing so, I wanted to put her diaper back on because she still doesn’t have the whole concept down completely. It’s a sporadic thing. 

Anywho…

I tried to put her diaper on twice, each time I pulled her up to her feet, poor thing had one little cheek peeking out of the diaper. Thankfully, her mother entered the room at this time and fixed my failures. Diapers just aren’t my forte. Yet.

Then on Sunday my friends had a baby shower for me. As I unwrapped a teething ring, someone asked what it was. I confidently proclaimed, “It’s a little chew toy!” LOL It still makes me laugh. I was a mom to my pups first- don’t judge.

Anything funny happen to you this week?

Baby Mama Drama

10 May

Just a warning: If you’re a dude currently reading this, you might want to evacuate. I’m about to talk about breasts… Not mine in particular, but breasts just the same. And I promise it won’t be a pleasant conversation for you.

Ok, now that we’ve weeded out some people, I’ll continue with my regularly scheduled post.

Breast pumps. Storage Bags. Trays. Milk Collector/Saver. Car adapter. Breast shield. Membranes. Valves.

Independently, I’m comfortable with my definitions of each of the above words. When they’re all used in a paragraph or one isolated conversation, I begin to freak. I don’t know what these are and/or I don’t know what to do with them if I figured it out.

In short, I know nothing about trying to take care of a baby. I have one single box that contains all of Baby K’s belongings. Most of its contents were lovingly passed down, some were purchased new by thoughtful friends and family. The point is- His need to be clothed will definitely be taken care of. His other needs? Ya know, the really important ones? Food, Shelter. And how bout the need for knowledgeable parents? Those are still up in the air.

I’m trying not to be all baby mama drama on you, but it is worth noting that I’m worried. I’m worried that we don’t have a house in LA yet. I’m worried about the move. I’m worried about the transition. I’m worried that I’ll have this beautiful baby boy, but I won’t know how to make him happy. Will I feed him when he really just has gas? Will I miss a wet diaper because I’m too busy writing papers for school? What if I am so tired throughout the day that I neglect my husband at night? What if I’m a terrible parent?

Some people just don’t have that natural ability to care for a newborn. I’m afraid I’ll be that girl.

I think it’s only my fear of breast pumps and delivery…you know- the unknown- that is freaking me out. I like to know what I’m getting into and right now I feel pretty clueless. Trips to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital may calm me. Classes to practice breathing techniques and study breast feeding strategies might make me feel better. But sadly, I can’t participate in any of these until we move. Then, will it be too late?

Oh, be still my heart. I can’t wait for Baby K, but I know how unprepared I feel, too.

Dear Baby K,

28 Apr

I want you to know that I love you so much already. When I think about why I’m here in this world, I hope a big reason for that is you- I think it is. I plan on doing all that I can to make you happy while raising you in a way that your dad and I can be proud of. I want to teach you so many things- humility, compassion, loyalty, curiosity, confidence and a fun lovin’ attitude with a southern accent, of course. These are just a few characteristics that I know I’ll find in you later on down the road. I pray daily that I can be the best parent to you that is possible. I can’t wait to meet you and see if you have my eyes or your dad’s height. I wonder what your mannerisms will be like and I daydream about your laugh. When I hear it for the first time, I know I’ll melt. I can’t describe how wonderfully scary being on the verge of motherhood is- Scary because I want to be the best mother I can be and wonderful because each little flutter and kick reminds me that you’re already a big part of what makes me, me. I’ve loved you since day one and that will never stop. Not ever. You come out when you’re ready and not a day sooner, okay? I love you already!

- Mama

My fears this week- conflict, pollen, and poo

21 Mar

It’s gettin’ scary ’round these parts.

First of all (the actually scary events), the crises in Japan and now Libya are quickly moving to the forefront of many minds. As civilians, we worry about all those people affected. As a military family, there’s the added worry that our loved ones will be carted off to help out in each of these places with very different missions. I’ve noticed that many people in the blogging community are confused (myself included) on what is going on in Libya. To remedy that, I thought I’d add some simplified information that I’ve found so that we’ll all better understand without all the conservative/liberal biases that plague the media and news these days.

*Where is Libya? Libya is a country located in North Africa.

*What the heck is going on anyway? It’s the angry dictator scenario again. The Libyan people are fed up. Protests broke out mid February sending the fourth largest country in Africa into chaos. Protesters were mistreated, beaten, jailed, or even killed for their actions.

*The UN agreed a “no fly zone” was to be activated earlier in March, which in itself is seen as an act of war.

*Who is involved? Britain and France are the frontrunners but many other Allied countries are supportive, too. This includes the US of A, as you’ve likely already gathered.

*Who is this Qadhafi I keep hearing about? He’s the said angry dictator and leader of Libya.

*What does this mean for U.S. troops? Our military men and women are NOT being sent into Libya, but they are currently occupying bordering countries and/or ships on the Mediterranean Sea.

For more detailed and up to date information, use google people! Those are the basics, though as I know them. If you’re wondering how this might affect Captain J and me, I will say that I hope it doesn’t affect us in the slightest. Of course, I never know when the big bad Army will take him away and for what reason, but I will say that this is NOT a worry of ours at the moment. As many of you know, Captain J is in the middle of a career course and isn’t scheduled to leave me and this sweet lil baby in my tummy anytime soon. Fingers crossed.

That’s my teeny tiny little military spouse knowledge of the day on the happenings in Libya. Take it or leave it!

Now, I’d like to adjust the focus an ounce to some things that are scary for me personally. For instance…

Spring has sprung in ole Georgia! I’m currently reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, so I thought I’d relax on the swing outside for a few while I enjoyed my book. A quick dusting off of the swing cushion to remove leaves left me with a lot more than a leaf-free place to sit! I removed my hand to find tons of icky yellow stuff all over it. Pollen galore.

Usually my allergies don’t strike until April, but that was when I lived in TN. Let us not forget that I skipped allergies all together in that glorious time period when we resided in the fresh, cool Alaskan air. Ahh! Now, I’m all “ahh-choo” instead. Oh well.

It is quite warm here. We had a small get together the other night complete with new friends, a bonfire, grill food and guitars. It doesn’t get much better than that, does it? It might just be too hot for this knocked up gal, though. 80 degrees still feels like the seventh layer of h-e- double hockey sticks to me sometimes. What happened to my southern roots? Alaska stays with me in more ways than one, I’m afraid.

Ok.

Are you ready for the scariest thing of all?

I don’t know that you are.

I’m not. But here we go…

I’ve spent much of this morning researching this little company- Thirsties. It’s a company (American-made!) that makes modern cloth diapers. You read that correctly- I’m entertaining the idea of using reusables. This, from the girl who almost blew chunks on her first nephew while attempting to change a very dirty diaper.

Poor kid. He adjusted just fine, though ;)

I’m hoping I have come or will have come a long way since those days once my own child arrives.

Don’t worry. I’m not going all crunchy, hippie, granola on you or anything. I just think it’s the smart thing to do financially. At this point, I’m only thinking about it- weighing the pros and cons. It wouldn’t be a strictly cloth diapers kind of thing, but it would be nice to use them while the baby is home and/or at night sleeping. You all think I’m nuts right now, don’t you?

I know I do.

Captain J will likely hate this idea, too.

But, maybe, just maybe I might try to do this. Perhaps I can say (on top of all my other responsibilities when the baby arrives), I’ll also be saving the world one nasty cloth instead of plastic diaper at a time.

Or not. We’ll see.

Motherhood 101?

18 Mar

I’m having a minor freak out moment about motherhood (and not for the first time).

I know I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be a mother. Mothers are selfless, mothers are giving when it feels like there’s nothing left to give. I couldn’t possibly be a mother.

As I lay in bed, sick as a dog, I keep rubbing my tummy in soft circular motions because I heard that growing babies like that. But I’m also wondering, how the heck am I going to do this?

I feel terrible. I’ve barely made it out of the bed or off the couch all day today. What will I do when I have a baby to take care of? I already feel as if I’m neglecting my pets. How much worse will this guilt be when I have a baby screaming for my attention? There must be some force, deep down that mothers hold on to, that makes them get out of bed and tend to their children. I’m just wondering how I go about getting a piece of that.

Does the act of mothering come somewhat natural in the delivery room when the nurse hands over the baby? Will my world as I know it cease to exist and a new world form around this tiny, breathing life? God, I hope so.

Because right now, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m realizing that I have about five months left to prepare. In those five months, I’ll be starting school again, packing up our home here, moving to Louisiana, trying to find a place to live there, and juggling the responsibilities of being a wife to my very deserving husband. He will be starting a new job where I will likely only see him two weeks out of each month, which means I’ll be a single parent, going to school full time for two weeks out of each month. I’m not overwhelmed by these thoughts and that’s what makes me think they all might take me by surprise.

Starting something new is always scary and I like to be prepared.

But how does one prepare themselves for motherhood?

I don’t know that anyone can. I’m just hoping and praying that somehow I’ll figure it all out. I want to be the best Mom I can be to this little one inside me. This precious life deserves that. Now, how in the world do I go about doing that?

Can a girl get a class on it, or what?!

She’s just a stay at home mom.

28 Feb

I recently read a post regarding the task of being a stay at home mother (SAHM) and I decided to add my thoughts on this topic here so that I may revisit them later after our first child is born and decide whether I feel the same way!

I’m mad. I’ll just say it.

The particular post I referred to told of a time when the blogger’s “friend” on facebook sent her a nasty message saying how disappointed she was in what the blogger’s life had become. The friend suggested that instead of using her education in the workforce, she was wasting it staying at home with her two children. You can imagine how this person felt while reading this message. Livid. Hurt. Anger. Confusion. Her misfortune sparked these SAHM thoughts in my own brain. What’s my opinion on all this?

I’ve told you all before that I never imagined this is the path my life would take. After graduating college, my next step was graduate school. Having a family was in the back of my mind, but I knew that could wait until after I had established myself in a good counseling job. I couldn’t even imagine getting married and having children. Then, BAM! I met Captain J and all of my goals in life started to shift. I wanted something other than a career.

Now, I’ve heard people suggest to me in not so many words that if I think motherhood is difficult already just imagine what it would be like having a job on top of all that. Maybe they’re right. I’m not one to compare tragedies, but I will say that this particular opinion doesn’t really sit well with me.

I’m not even a mother yet and I’m offended by the suggestions of others that “so and so doesn’t have a job. She’s just another stay at home mom”. Baloney! I won’t suggest that either the working mom or the one who stays home has a more difficult job because each has perks and trials of their own. Their “jobs” are most definitely equal, though. I’ll stand by that!

I was speaking to my aunt on this very topic a few weeks ago. She is a wise woman who I admire very much and I always enjoy soaking up any advice she offers me. She asked me my plans for this baby in regard to care taking. Would I find a daycare and return to school or work? Or would I care for the child myself while J brought home the bacon? My response was that I would likely stay at home with the child until they are able to start kindergarten and then I would focus on me for awhile. My aunt is a hardworking woman! With a degree in law and teaching, she smiled and said, “I wish that was something I could have done.” And that’s what it comes down to right there. I feel blessed beyond belief to be able to afford to not work and stay at home with our child(ren)! Like my aunt, I look at it as a positive. Hearing that I am likely to be written off in others’ eyes because “that’s all (I) do” really is a slap in the face and, I might add, the epitome of ignorance.

What better job do we have as human beings than to raise up a child? With each little person, our futures are shaped. Spending day in and day out with my child will allow me a better understanding of what’s going on in his or her own little life. What went into that mouth today? What words came out of it? What could he or she have overheard that might get repeated at the worst possible time? What are the struggles? What triumphs happened in this little life today? Hopefully, I’ll be able to answer these questions extensively each day. THAT makes me glad.

My background in psychology will most definitely not be wasted on my child.

And who knows? I might just use my degree again when the school bell rings and little feet skip off to class. Or I might take a different avenue. Either way, I will take pride in knowing that I tried my very best at parenting, the most difficult job in the world!

In Ezekiel 16:44, Jesus says:

“People will use this proverb about you- ‘like mother, like daughter.’ “

If people are to say that then I want to be the best possible mother I can be to this child. If anything, I’d wish for my child to be a better Christian example than me, but because this verse hints that most will compare mother and child one in the same then I want to make sure to better myself before this child arrives so I can do the very best I can for them in this life. If children are no better than we are, what does the future of this world look like? It’s just something to ponder. I truly think my diligence in parenting will be supported by my staying home. I know this isn’t a setup that works for all parents nor do I believe that is what is best for every family. I’m only stating that the flames of this ‘lazy mother stereotype’ need to be stomped out.

*I’d love to hear your respectful thoughts on the matter. Are you a working mom? Are you a SAHM? Do you enjoy your role? How do you make it work for your family?

Innocence

28 Jan

“If my heart can become pure and simple,
like that of a child, I think there probably
can be no greater happiness than this.”
- Kitaro Nishid

One of the joys of motherhood that I simply cannot wait for is hearing the silly, thoughtful, and/or hilarious comments that might escape my child’s lips. Aren’t kids so funny? I can think of so many stories that have happened just recently that make me giggle. Even the word “story” has one all its own.

Our first Army social here at Ft. Benning was a few weeks ago. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it as I’m not the most social person on the planet (far from it). I nervously walked around, weaving myself around a bunch of dudes respectable young men in khakis and ties. Out of the various women there adorning their soldiers’ arms, I knew none of them were likely to come talk to me. I don’t know anyone in this town, as you may know. Little did I know that it would be a small child, sweetly matching her little sister who would bring me out of my shell.

We began chatting as her father nervously looked over at us, afraid she might say something embarrassing. He mouthed, “Sorry” more than a few times, but I didn’t mind. She was fascinating to talk to. I began answering one of the (many) questions she had for me when I started off with, “wow, that is quite a story!” Slightly confused, she replied, “No, it’s TRUE!” Her mother leaned over at this point and reminded her that “stories” weren’t limited to fiction. It made me smile, but the funny part was yet to come…

Fifteen minutes into the conversation and ignoring all adult social rules by facing me, inches away this beautiful little child of seven asked me to sing for her. In a room full of officers and their wives. Dressed rather oddly, trying to hide my little baby bump. She wanted me to belt it out! I told her that if I did  then people might run away screaming. Her small face became wide with surprise and she got even closer to me, looked me in the eye, and said, “Really?!”

It was precious. It’s these little moments that cause me to miss the innocence of childhood. I cannot wait to have a sweet little baby, my reminder of the wonder and excitement that life can hold.

Photo Credit @adventure-learning-initiatives.com

Photo Credit @ localism.com

Photo Credit @ cindygraves.wordpress.com

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